


Suffocating

by DorkSeverus04



Series: Don't Conceal [3]
Category: RWBY
Genre: Beacon PTSD, F/F, Father anxiety, I don't know why I wrote this, I think I'm forgetting tags again..., Internal homophobia, Takes place after vol 5 and before vol 6, The Author Regrets Everything, This was saved in my docs for a year now, Weiss centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:06:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26587855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DorkSeverus04/pseuds/DorkSeverus04
Summary: Sometimes nightmares haunts people for a long time. Others are better at hiding it, but for some? They need a little help from their best friend.
Relationships: Ruby Rose/Weiss Schnee
Series: Don't Conceal [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1437532
Kudos: 48





	Suffocating

" _Yang… I'm sorry… so sorry…" Blake whimpered as she held onto her partner's hand, tears falling from her eyes._

_Yang didn't answer. It wasn't like she could in the first place as she was unconscious on the floor, bleeding from the wound on her right arm._

_Weiss remembered this so vividly, she constantly had nightmares about it when she was separated from her family._ "This is a dream." _She told herself._ "I'm back with them again. They're safe and much stronger than before."

_But she couldn't shake the feeling that this was going to happen again. Especially when she had her weapon in hand and was running with her partner towards the tower._

Stop.

_Grimm surrounded them, but Pyrrha was at the top of the tower. Ruby looked lost at what to do, but Weiss knew. She lined Glyphs up the tower._

" _Go. You can do this."_

No, stop. Go with her!

" _Thanks!" Ruby nodded and ran up the tower._

Go with her! Don't leave her alone!

_A piercing scream was heard from the top of the tower and a blinding white light soon followed._

That was the last Weiss had seen of her team.

_Then_ he _dragged her back to Atlas. "What did I tell you? You're nothing but a burden. All that training was for nothing."_

She couldn't say anything. After everything that just happened, he dragged her off before she could see if Ruby was safe or not. The last light of hope she had was now gone. And it was her fault.

* * *

"NO!" Weiss struggled to breathe and snapped her eyes open, gasping for air. She regretted that action and placed a hand onto her side to stop the throbbing pain. The ex-heiress looked across the room to make sure that she didn't wake up her sleeping teammates and sighed in relief, laying back down onto the bed again in an attempt to go back to sleep.

A couple hours later.

Weiss groaned a bit as she got up and saw that Ruby was sleeping by her side again. She didn't know when her partner moved into bed with her, but she certainly wasn't there when she woke up hours before. With a shake of her head, she slowly slid off the bed and began her day. It's been a few days since the battle at Haven Academy, and it seemed like everything was finally getting back to normal. Well, almost everything.

Once they were back in Qrow's hideout, Weiss sighed to herself as nearly everyone was trying to confide her to a bed due to her injury. But she had insisted that she was fine.

Due to some persuasion and insistence that sitting in bed all day would be more harmful than good, Weiss sighed in relief that she could at least walk around the hideout, so long as she didn't strain herself.

Ruby, Blake, and Yang kept a careful watch on Weiss to make sure that she kept her promise of doing nothing more than walking around, and didn't do anything too strenuous.

A few days passed after that and Weiss was at her limit. She needed to do _something._ She needed to try cooking. She needed to _train_. _Just about anything at this point._ Sitting still and doing nothing besides reading books, watching others train, and doing minimal chores such as cleaning the dishes and folding clothes was driving her _insane_.

On top of it all, the nightmares from Beacon and memories of being trapped by her father were haunting her. Even though she was here with her friends and _true_ family, the memories were taunting her as if the same thing would happen again.

Sitting by the window, Weiss looked out towards the sky for a while before her eyes drifted down towards the others training outside, bringing back memories of when she was locked in her room back home, thanks to her overbearing, controlling father. Everyone's positive, encouraging voices to each other while training were constantly drowned out by his voice, echoing degrading words to her.

She shook her head to remember that she's with her friends now. Maybe that's why she was having those nightmares again. They were always most frequent when she couldn't do anything, and reminded her of how powerless she was.

Weiss did her best to hide how uncomfortable she was feeling from her team, not wanting to stress them over the littlest things. She sighed and glanced around the room.

Ruby and Yang were playing a game on their scrolls while Blake watched them. A small smile graced her lips as she was temporarily brought back to a similar scene at Beacon, before everything...

Not a moment later, the serene scene before her changed within a blink of an eye, bringing her instantly back to the day where they last _saw_ each other.

Blake and Yang were on the floor, the former apologizing constantly while holding her unconscious partner's hand.

Then Ruby… The last thing that Weiss told the young leader before she went up the tower was "You can do this." Then… her partner never came back down after that bright light and horrifying scream.

Finally her father grabbed her arm and forced her into the airship back to Atlas before she could even make sure that her team was alright. Once they were in the airship, he reminded her of her failures and that she should've never come to Beacon. That if she died, then the family, or rather _he_ , would've lost an asset to gain more money.

Weiss quickly shook that thought out of her head and felt her heart being crushed. That was it. The ex-heiress stood up. She _needed_ to get out and have some fresh air.

That movement caused Blake to look at her. "Weiss?"

At the mention of their white haired teammate's name, Ruby and Yang paused from their game and looked at her. "Where are you going?"

"Just a walk." Weiss sighed as she shook her head. "I'll be back in a few minutes." She walked past them and heard Ruby getting up. "I'll just be outside for some air. You don't have to accompany me." Before she waited for Ruby or anyone's reply, Weiss left the room and shut the door.

Sighing to herself, she quickly left the hallway. Weiss was glad that no one was around when she walked towards the main entrance of the hideout and grabbed her weapon. The area was secured, but she wanted to take her weapon as a 'just in case' thing. Plus, it made her feel safer if she was going out alone. She also wanted to get used to having it's comfortable weight by her side again. The ex-heiress spent far too long without it, after all.

Now that she wasn't just sitting in her room and was finally walking outside, Weiss sighed in relief. She didn't know _why,_ but just seeing her friends having fun and laughing, it made her chest hurt and made it hard to breathe. Being away from them caused the suffocating feeling she had while being in the same room as them to lessen up a bit.

She glanced at the house, then continued walking deeper into the forest, taking note of where she was going so she wouldn't get lost.

Weiss took a deep breath and placed a hand by her side. It still hurt, but she was used to the dull pain. After everything that she went through, being separated from her family for so long hurt far more than this.

Weiss laughed at herself. Here she was, alone in the forest, taking a walk when she could easily be with her friends and family back at the hideout. But she didn't want to worry any of them about what had happened to her during their separation. They're already babying her over this little injury that nearly cost her life. Seemed like she was nothing but a burden to them...

" _Stop acting like a child and do something productive. You're being a burden to us and the Schnee family name!"_

Weiss immediately did her best to shut _his_ voice out of her head. She wasn't at one hundred percent strength and she was alone in unknown territory. If she were to be attacked by Grimm now, depending on the number, there was a low chance that she'd be able to get out safely. She took a deep breath again and looked up at the blue sky before she turned back.

She closed her eyes as she listened to the gentle winds blowing, the birds chirping, and the river flowing. It was relaxing to hear, and it helped clear some negative thoughts in her mind… _Some_.

Quickly shaking her head to get the negative thoughts and memories from creeping up on her, she thought of things that made her happy. Like how happy she was to see her family again. Though that feeling quickly faded as she remembered how Ruby and Yang were happy to see each other, yet she couldn't receive the same between herself and Winter.

Again, she shook that thought out of her head and sighed. Maybe thinking of a song would help? No, she wasn't in the mood. But she did have a few questions as she listened to Ozpin's story.

"Were we born to just fight and die? Are we heroes keeping peace from Grimm? Or are we weapons for this war against Salem?" She mumbled as she looked back at the ground, almost bumping into a red figure dashing towards her.

"Weiss!"

"Ruby?!" Weiss braced herself and stumbled back when the young leader suddenly threw her arms around her neck. "W-What's wrong?!"

"You were gone for so long, and you had this look on your face… Don't go away!" Ruby whimpered as she slowly pulled back and looked into Weiss's eyes.

Confused blue met concerned silver.

"Where would I go, Ruby?" Weiss raised a brow. "My home is with you and the team…" She quickly slapped a hand over her mouth. The heiress was in disbelief that she said something so… uncharacteristic of her.

Yet Ruby just stared at her blankly for a moment before a huge grin appeared on her face. "Aww Weiss! You're home to me too!" She giggled as she wrapped her arms around Weiss's shoulder and pulled her close again. "But really, we should get back. Uncle Qrow said that Professor Ozpin has something important to tell us."

Weiss felt a chill run down her spine. She had a feeling… that she wasn't going to like the news at all...

* * *

Weiss stared at everyone in disbelief as she paused from packing the Dust into her suitcase. "Atlas?!"

"That's what Oz said." Qrow nodded as he leaned back on the couch.

"On the bright side, we can _finally_ get out of this place." Nora chimed in from the floor, glad to finally have a destination besides just sitting around in the same area each day, doing nothing but waiting for the others to recover.

"We do have the missing heiress to the Schnee Dust Company…" Blake tried to lighten the mood.

" _Ex_ -heiress… actually." Weiss sighed as she looked down and continued packing her Dust.

"True, true. But if there's a chance for reward money, I'd say that we go for it." Yang winked at her, letting her know that it was a joke, and that they would do whatever they could to save Weiss if it came to that.

"Ugh…" Weiss rolled her eyes and flashed a weak smile for a moment, but immediately stopped when that suffocating feeling came back. "I'll… be right back." She mumbled as she quickly got up, closed her suitcase filled with Dust, and left the room while Ozpin, in Oscar's body, walked in and gave them the details of their next objective.

Unfortunately for the ex-heiress, she was being followed.

* * *

Once Weiss was alone in the bathroom, she splashed cold water onto her face and gripped the edges of the sink. She looked up at the mirror and laughed at how pathetic she looked.

Just from splashing water on her face and running it through her hair, her neat and tidy pony tail was now messy. She pulled out the band and shook her head a bit before looking at herself again. Her reflection frowned at her. " _You're pathetic_."

Weiss scoffed as she splashed water on her face again. "I know I am, but that's not going to stop me."

" _Didn't you promise Winter that you'd get better? And you promised Ruby that you'd be the best teammate that she'd ever have._ " The reflection raised her shirt, showing the ugly scar at her side where she was impaled weeks before. " _How can you keep those promises if you're dead?_ "

"I'm still here!" Weiss slammed her hands onto the edges of the sink and looked up at herself. "I just… don't know what I should do to get better." She sighed to herself. Should she prioritize her summons? But that takes up a lot of her aura and stamina... So should she work on that first? There were also other glyphs that she wanted to practice more on as well...

" _Whatever it is that you need to get better, figure it fast. Otherwise you'll just end up burdening the one you love._ "

Weiss gripped her left wrist tightly, trying to stop the persistent throbbing feeling. It felt as if her blood was pulsating to escape her veins. She shook as she dug her nails into her wrist and breathed heavily.

" _Can't handle the truth?_ " Weiss looked up at her reflection and saw herself slowly turning into her father. She heard his voice. " _You really are a good-for-nothing child that can't do anything on your own without me_."

The ex-heiress punched the mirror, shattering her reflection.

"Weiss!"

Weiss jumped at the sudden call of her name and turned to see a worried Ruby staring at her. "R-Ru-"

Ruby moved quickly towards Weiss' side and carefully took her hand, frowning as she looked up into her eyes. "Why…?"

"I…" Weiss looked away from Ruby, unsure of what to tell her. She simply allowed herself to be pulled along by Ruby. They walked in silence into a room and Ruby gently pushed Weiss to sit on the bed, then went to fetch a first aid kit. A few minutes later, the brunette came back, setting the box aside.

"Weiss… What's going on?" Ruby whimpered as she gently took Weiss' injured hand and carefully pulled out some stray shards of glass. "You've been acting weird… Like really weird since you came here." She looked up, silver eyes filled with confusion and concern. "I wanted to ask you what was on your mind for a while… but you… seemed to shut everyone out. Almost like how you were at Beacon, but more… lonely."

Weiss frowned and closed her eyes as she thought about how to answer Ruby. Could she admit that after going back to Atlas, she realized how much she was in love with Ruby? That she fell hard for her very first friend? Was it even love that she was feeling? She didn't know. All that she _did_ know was that Ruby had a special place in her heart, and that she would do _anything_ for her partner.

"... I don't know." The ex-heiress admitted as she opened her eyes and looked at the floor, not feeling the stinging pain of disinfectant on her hand.

"You don't know?" Ruby looked up at Weiss for a moment, growing more concerned as she saw the lost look within Weiss' eyes.

"That's correct." Weiss nodded.

Silence filled the air as Ruby bandaged Weiss' hand and started to pack everything away. Once Ruby stood up to put the first aid kit away, Weiss grabbed the hem of her cloak.

"Weiss?" Ruby blinked at the sudden reaction.

"What?" Weiss looked up and saw what happened, quickly letting go of her cloak. "I-I'm sorry. I know it's important to you."

Ruby gave Weiss a soft smile and patted her head, kissing her forehead. "I'll be right back. I'm going to put this box away and you can tell me what's going through your head, alright?"

"R-Right…" Weiss nodded and held her hands together, watching Ruby leave as if she were a lost child.

The second Ruby was out of sight, she berated herself and gripped her wrist tightly. ' _What in Oum's name am I doing? I'm acting as if I'm a child now! I'm doing nothing but causing her more trouble when I just wanted to help her_.' She gritted her teeth and dug her nails into her skin. ' _What kind of partner am I?_ '

"Weiss!" Ruby walked into the room and quickly pried Weiss' hand away. "Are you hurt? I mean besides when you punched the mirror. Why did you do that anyways? Don't say that you don't know. I mean ok, I just wanna help you but I can't help if you shut me out and I'm really worried about you and well-" The brunette rambled until she felt Weiss' hand over her own. "Weiss?"

"I…" Weiss bit her lip and felt Ruby rubbing her hand with her thumb. She looked up and saw the patient yet concerned look within her eyes. "I'm so… sorry." The ex-heiress sighed as she looked down and covered her face with her free hand.

Ruby squeezed her hand. "Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything wrong."

"I did do something wrong! I think I have feelings for you!" Weiss pulled her hand away from Ruby. "I don't know for sure, but I just know that I shouldn't be feeling this way." Tears started to sting her eyes and her heart felt like it was being squeezed so hard that she couldn't breathe.

"What…?" Ruby's eyes widened at the sudden confession. "You… have feelings for me…?"

"And I shouldn't!" Tears fell from Weiss' eyes as she hastily wiped them away. "I _hated_ you! You had a loving family, you were skilled and talented. I only had Winter and Klein. I had to claw my way from the bottom to get where I am now and it still isn't _enough_."

"Weiss! You're more than enough!" Ruby didn't like this. Was this how Weiss was feeling all this time? "You're an amazing person! I-"

"No! I'm not!" Weiss interrupted and glared at Ruby through watery eyes. "If I was so _amazing,_ I wouldn't have had to struggle to get where I am now. If I was so _amazing_ , I wouldn't have loved you as much as I did!" She wiped her tears. "It's wrong… two women shouldn't love each other, but I fell in love with you. As we worked together I respected your skills, seeing how hard you worked."

Ruby was silent as Weiss continued her rant, and she took her hand. Whatever was going on, the brunette was glad that her partner was able to vent out her frustrations, even though it worried her.

"No matter how many times I berated you, was mean to you, treated you like crap… You still trusted me. Treated me as if I was a friend, rather than an enemy…" The ex-heiress took a deep breath. "I realized that you were special to me after Beacon fell. Of course I thought it was stupid, but with nothing to do at home, I had a lot of time to think about how important all of you were to me." Weiss' hand shook as Ruby gave her a more firm grip.

"Weiss, you're important to me too." Ruby moved closer to Weiss to calm her down, but frowned when her partner took a step back.

"Everyone's important to you." Weiss mumbled and tore her hand away. "I-I love you, Ruby. I'm sorry." With that, the ex-heiress left the room.

"Weiss!" Ruby frowned, trying to process everything that Weiss said. _Weiss loves me…?_

"Hey Ruby. What's up with Weiss?" Yang asked as she walked into the room. "She looked like she was about to cry and wouldn't stop when we asked her what's wrong."

"I…" Ruby looked at Yang, unsure of herself, but there was one thing that she did know. "I… I-I need to go after her!"

* * *

Weiss stumbled as she ran out of the safehouse and into the forest. She couldn't believe she just admitted that. She told Ruby how she felt! It wasn't supposed to come out like that. She was supposed to keep that secret locked away, maybe only to be found out on her deathbed.

The ex-heiress panted as she continued to run, then used her glyphs to help her escape further into the forest over the lake… or at least that was the plan, until she felt something grabbing her waist and tackling her to the water with a loud splash.

"UGH!" Weiss gasped for air and glared at whatever grabbed her.

"Weiss!" Ruby helped her sit up. "I'm sorry, but I had to do that to stop you from running!"

Weiss groaned as she stumbled to stand up, but fell back into the water. She had a hand to her side and waved off the brunette. What was she thinking? Of course Ruby would've followed her, and there's no way she could outrun her semblance...

"R-Ruby…" She huffed, glaring at her partner. "Why are you here?"

"Why? You just ran off into the forest for no reason!" Ruby frowned as she crawled close to Weiss and raised a hand to rub the dirt smudge on her partner's cheek. "And… you were crying after you told me that you… you l-loved me…" She blushed as she said that. "What's wrong?"

"I wasn't crying!" Weiss hissed and winced. Seemed like the fall hurt a bit more than she thought, but she'd rather use this pain to distract her than tell Ruby the truth. "Just leave me alone. Please."

"Weiss…" The brunette frowned and helped Weiss get out of the lake and sit in a more comfortable position. "I don't know what the problem is, but we all know that you _never_ ran from anything. You always faced them head on, and never backed down until you were satisfied. Remember all those times before at Beacon when we dragged you out of the training room so you could sleep? Same with the library to stop studying? Once something was on your mind, you were determined to perfect it."

"I'm not perfect." Weiss grumbled and shivered.

Ruby noticed Weiss shivering and took off her cloak, wrapping it around the ex-heiress. "Weiss, we need to get you out of those wet clothes and see if you reopened your wound."

"I'm fine." Weiss hissed. "I have a lot of things on my mind, and I'd rather stay here and be cold than return."

Ruby blinked. It wasn't like Weiss to run away from anything. She secretly sent a quick text to Yang and Blake telling her that she found Weiss, and that they would need to draw a hot bath. "Weiss?" The young leader tentatively placed a hand onto Weiss' shoulder. "What's going on? You can talk to me… right?"

Weiss bit her lip and looked away, gripped her wrist tightly. "It's no-" She started but Ruby interrupted her.

"Don't tell me it's nothing!" Ruby snapped and grabbed onto Weiss' shoulders. "I can't stand seeing the one I love hurt like this!"

"W-What…?" Weiss blinked and looked up at Ruby in disbelief. She looked into Ruby's eyes and saw her about to cry in frustration.

"Weiss, I love you too!" Ruby cried as her hands shook. "I've been in love with you for a long time now!" She could still see the disbelief in Weiss' eyes as she moved closer. "Sure we had a rocky start, but ever since you saved me from that Death Stalker… I've been in love with you. You treated me like a normal girl. I saw how hard you worked, and wanted to be someone worthy of you." Tears fell from Ruby's eyes as she gave her partner a sad smile. "So don't think so little of yourself. I don't care what your father or the others would think. _I love you_."

"But I…" The ex-heiress hesitated.

_"Weiss, do_ not _disgrace me like your cousin. Two women in love? It is immoral. Disgusting."_

"It's wrong." Weiss whimpered, hearing her father's voice in her head, overpowering how she really felt.

_"You have a duty to the Schnee family. I will find you a man worthy of carrying the Schnee name."_

"I-I can't… I have to…" She had to what? Her father practically disowned her. She didn't have a reason to honor her family name, right? No, she couldn't let it go that easily! But her father among other things...

Ruby frowned, her hands sliding down Weiss' arms slowly. "Is it wrong to love me? Is that what you were _taught_ or what you actually _think_?"

"I…" Weiss didn't know how to answer. She wanted to say that it was wrong to love her, but she couldn't. Hearing Ruby say that she loved her too made her too happy. So happy that it scared her. She looked down at the water, shivering. Perhaps it was time to go back to the safehouse, at least for Ruby's benefit. The ex-heiress shakily stood up and stumbled forward into Ruby's arms.

"Weiss, don't push yourself if you're in pain." Ruby frowned.

Weiss gripped onto Ruby's shoulder. "Ruby…" She started, shaking as Ruby took her arm and helped her steady herself.

"What's wrong, Weiss?" She frowned, pulling the cloak around her partner closer to keep her warm.

"Is… Is it really ok for me to love you?" Weiss whimpered, looking into Ruby's eyes. Did she really have the right to love her?

Scared blue met gentle silver.

"Of course it is, Weiss. You've been the source of my strength, because I love you and…" Ruby took both of Weiss' hands into hers. "I want to be able to fight by your side as equals. You've been helping me so much. Thank you, Weiss. I wouldn't be where I am without you."

"Idiot…" Weiss gave a small smile. Maybe… this could work out. She hesitantly took a step forward and captured Ruby's lips with her own. They stayed like that for a minute before the ex-heiress moved away, looking away as she blushed. "Thank you. I'm feeling a bit better now." Weiss really was feeling better. She felt happier and wanted to kiss Ruby again, but she wanted to know first... "I-If you're willing... to put up with someone like me... I'd like to try... erm..." She blushed harder, unsure of how to ask.

Ruby giggled and pulled Weiss close, understanding that it'll get some time for her partner to get used to this. "Weiss, I'd love to be your girlfriend. I'm willing to help you. To _show_ you that you're allowed to love whoever you want. Though I'd be pretty jealous if you didn't love me..." She mumbled the last part.

Weiss nuzzled against Ruby's shoulder, thankful for her patience. She then remembered how they were still wet from Ruby tackling her into the lake earlier. "...We should go back to the safehouse and take a bath before we talk more about this. As warm as your cape is, I don't think it'll prevent us from catching a cold, and we're leaving for Atlas soon."

"Don't worry about Atlas, Weiss! Team RWBY won't leave your side for a second. I promise." Ruby smiled as she pulled Weiss close for a hug to keep her warm, despite the ex-heiress' protests.

No matter what, as long as they were together, they'd find a way to make it through tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hi, it's Sev. Uhm sorry for writing this one shot instead of the last two chaps for True Self. Had this and another one shot saved in my docs for a year now and really wanted to finish these first. That and I also got a bit sick so I apologize for that. Well uhm... hoped that y'all enjoyed this. See y'all next time!


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